dialogue?

July 23, 2006 by annie.

so i’ve been thinking…why do we only have meaningful dialogue with each other when we agree on something? or when the subject matter is simple? why is it…that when we do not agree or have a conflict our communication breaks down and often resorts to condescending phrases, name-calling, or dismissive words? a few things that have happened recently have me mulling this over…one being the israel/lebanon war (and discussions that take place about it)…others closer to home.

a back story for explanation:
last week a rumor was being circulated about me between my family relatives. my (amazing) sister called me laughing, saying that my uncle had looked at my chick adventure guide to hiking blog and had been telling everyone that my hiking buddy was my girlfriend. now, i have nothing against girl-on-girl action…and since i’m throwing it all out there…i’ve had girlfriends in the past. i’ve also had boyfriends. but…my hiking buddy is not my girlfriend…and if my uncle thought so, he could have emailed/called me and asked. so i emailed him and told him that. this is what i said… 

Just a quick note to let you know that it was nice of you to check out my website. I enjoy hiking and being outdoors very much. I also wanted to let you know that Kelli is not my partner. She has a boyfriend. She is a friend and a co-worker who happens to share the same interests as I do. Nowhere on the website does it say that we are anything but friends. Before you pass along information that isn’t true, please feel free to ask me. You have my email address. I’m not that difficult to talk to, am I? I hope you both are doing well. Best to you, Annie 

the email i received in return was harsh, cold, and immediately closed off the possibility of any dialogue. i will not reprint it here…as it is not my words. the gist of it was that it wasn’t true. 

so…could i have been wrong? yes, i suppose so. the possibility for my making a mistake is always high. could he have been defensive because he was caught? yes, that’s possible.

honestly, interpreting the email is a moot point for me…i’m more interested in what prevents the meaningful dialogue? there are people that i connect deeply with…but let’s face it…they are people like me. how do i connect and dialogue with everyone else?

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